All the News Unfit Print for Thursday, November 27, 2008

All the News Unfit Print for Monday, November 24, 2008
If a piano plays in the woods, but no one hears it, does it really play at all?
Police find a perfect working piano in the woods--with a matching bench..
It took more than a half dozen men to load it onto a truck to remove it..
Labels: Odd

All the News Unfit Print for Sunday, November 23, 2008
Goobye Wacko Jacko .. hello Mikaeel?

Photo: REUTERS
Reports this weekend that Michael Jackson has converted to Islam at a friend's house..
Jackson was raised Jehovah's Witness.. Supposedly, an imam was summoned to a depressed Michael Jackson, where he converted to the religion.. Jermaine Jackson beat him to the punch, though, converting back in 1989 -- Michael Jackson, according ot the TIMES ONLINE report, says that Michael Jackson was interested since then..
So while the Jehovah faith may have last a member, they won't get hurt too much. The chances that Michael Jackson went door to door promoting the WATCHTOWER is implausible..
And they may have lost a member, but they gained a new one: The Singer Prince (or symbol) is a Jehovah's Witness and is going door to door to preach the word ..
Take the good with the bad.. Who would you rather have in your religion??

All the News Unfit Print for Saturday, November 22, 2008
The Schmuck and Schmuck-ette of the week: Sarah and that strange guy behind her

No story .. The odd photo op of Sarah Palin .. filmed in front of turkeys being slaughtered as she spoke about Thanksgiving and other interesting issues facin' the people of Alaska..
Palin the center of complete and total mockery this week as she was interviewed at a turkey farm.. as the background images were taken up by a really crazy looking guy killing turkeys..
It's the type of video that someone has to truly see to believe. .and when you see it you'd think it was a scene of a NAKED GUN film. This is real? This really happened? This really went down .. like that?
Attention PETA. . you have your ad campaign handed to you on a silver platter.. and attention Alaskans: Perhaps someone there will get a turkey that was slaughtered behind Sarah Palin..
Sarah, you could have easily been the sole schmuck.. but fortunately for you a strange man existed behind you, holding turkeys in a large grinder until they died..
Thanksgiving 2008.. Eat up.

All the News Unfit Print for Thursday, November 20, 2008
Hitler HAD only had one testicle?!
-xx Bryan xx
---www.schmuckraker.com All the news unfit to print---
###
http://souponmyfly.blogspot.com Soup on my Fly

All the News Unfit Print for Saturday, November 15, 2008
Not even the clowns could save Wall Street

They we can't say they didn't try..
PHOTO: A specialist works at his post on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange Friday, Nov. 14, 2008. The Big Apple Circus, that rang the Exchange opening bell, handed out clown noses on the trading floor. (AP Photo/Richard Drew)
Labels: depression, financial crisis, Money, Odd, recession, Wall Street

All the News Unfit Print for Thursday, November 13, 2008
He's having a [another] baby!
The man that had a baby, Thomas Beatie, pregnant again with another child..
"Beatie, 34, who is legally a man but kept female reproductive organs when he had a sex-change operation 10 years ago, is in his first trimester of pregnancy, he told celebrity interviewer Walters for the ABC news program "20/20" that will air on November 14. Walters highlighted the interview on her daytime chat show, "The View," on Thursday."Ok, we've had enough!

All the News Unfit Print for Wednesday, November 12, 2008

All the News Unfit Print for Saturday, November 1, 2008
Oh Good Lord.. Palin Tricked by Sarkozy Imposter
Palin spoke to Marc-Antoine Audette for about six minutes before the comedian identified himself, and she ended the call. “Thank you sir, we have such great respect for you, John McCain and I, we love you,” Palin tells the imposter, who tells her he hoped she will be president one day. "Ha ha, maybe in eight years," she responded. Audette, as Sarkozy told Palin that hunting was one of his favorite activities. "Oh, very good, we should go hunting together," Palin replied, adding, "I think we could have a lot of fun together as we're getting work done. We could kill two birds with one stone that way." "I just love killing those animals! Taking away life, that is so fun," said the fake French president. Palin laughed. The prankster told her that he'd love to go hunting, as long as "we don't bring Vice President Cheney." "I'll be a very careful shot, don't worry," says Palin, with another laugh. Added Audette: "You know we have a lot in common also because from my house I can see Belgium." "Yes, see, we are all right next door to other countries that we need to be working with," said Palin.
Be afraid...


All the News Unfit Print for Friday, October 24, 2008
THE BACKWARDS 'B' CON JOB
CBS NEWS/AP
While she may not be the Schmuck of the week by its best definition, she is the prevaricator of the week. Yesterday, when the Drudge Report led the site on Ashley Todd, a 20-year-old McCain volunteer that claimed she was attacked, and that a B was carved on her face, other websites picked it up. Even the SCHMUCKRAKER made reference to it in its random rakings section yesterday.. But now it turns out, as some online suspected, the story of Ashley Todd has gone down in flames .. it was false, according to police investigating the incident.
Perhaps the backwards B should have.. well, tipped everyone off?
She told police Wednesday that she was attacked by a black male.. Today she can't explain why she made the story up.. AP suggests that police were initially suspicious, again, because the B on her face was backwards.
She says that she doesn't remember carving the B on her own face, but admits that she must have since the rest of the mugging/mutilation story was false..
A morbidly twisted tale, the ends even more on the morbid note.. My hope is that she makes a quick recovery, and that she has mental analysis done. And that the media leaves her family alone--and leaves her alone.
Something about this story is very sad...The other interesting aspect of the Ashley Todd story: Drudge vs Wonkette.. Wonkette won.
Can't wait for this election to end. It's been weird.
Labels: Campaign 2008, Election, Odd, Politics, Schmuck of the Week, sick

All the News Unfit Print for Thursday, October 16, 2008
Mission accomplished: One man, and one giant burger

AP Photo/Logan Cramer, Denny's Beer Barrel Pub
Brad Sciullo of Uniontown, Pa, ate a 15-pound cheeseburger..
Clear the room.. and get a bathroom stall ready.

All the News Unfit Print for Monday, October 6, 2008
In the worst of times.. grab a friend and .. cuddle!?
"It's a human need," said Weinstein-Moser, 49, of Dublin, Bucks County, who introduced the phenomenon to the region last fall. She was smitten after attending her first in 2005, where she discovered she was a natural. Now a certified cuddle facilitator (training price tag: $1,490), Weinstein-Moser throws parties as far as Maryland and North Jersey. It costs $40 to attend$40 per person!? Where do I learn this!?
Cuddle Parties do not claim to offer therapy or even massage, but do tout the benefits of tactile contact. Not everyone, though, is convinced that what happens at the hugfests can deliver health benefits. The American Massage Therapy Association has little love for Cuddle Parties. "We really have no idea if there's any value in the kind of massage they provide at these things," said Ron Precht, communications manager for the Chicago-area groupI'm not sold on this. As a matter or fact, it's plain out creepy to me. A 50 year old man .. cuddled up next to me rubbing my shoulders.. as i cuddle the back of someone in front of me.. And combined the three of us paying $120 bucks.. Not my version of a fun Saturday night. And plain weird..

All the News Unfit Print for Sunday, October 5, 2008
Is this real? Video of "Obama youth" hits web
Frightening stuff.. Again, if it's real, and true. I'm sure we'll hear more about this ..
Labels: Campaign 2008, Election, Obama, Odd, Opinion, personal, Politics

Lifestyles of the rich and .. foot-odored?
A judge in Sharon Stone's child custody case said that the actress has overreacted "to many medical issues" regarding her young son's health issues -- to the point that she wanted to get Botox treatments for his smelly feet, according to TMZ.com.
Labels: Entertainment, Hollywood, Odd, Offbeat

All the News Unfit Print for Saturday, October 4, 2008
The Schmuck of the week: The Drunken Cow Sent to Jail
AP Photo/Middletown Ohio Police department via Dayton Daily News
Michelle Allen, 32, was arrested in Ohio for disorderly conduct, which included public urination, chasing children while drunk while wearing a cow suit, and in her rampage screaming obscenities..
She was a theme park employee, which explains the suit. And she wasn't wearing anything under her cow suit, and was forced to wear the suit for her prison mugshot.
And reports (really, I'm not making this up) from the jailhouse: While she was sobering up before her court appearance, she was yelling "suck my udders"..
I have to say I feel bad for Allen a little bit. While I never dressed as a cow and yelled for people to suck my udders, I probably did stupid or weird things when I was drunk.
Even more, Michelle Allen now has this on her record--a now very public record. The story has made it around the world due to the odd nature of the situation. A woman dressed as a cow, urinating in public..
A sad schmuck of the week.
But what I want to know, when she was urinating, was there an opening somewhere? Or did it just flow out of an udder?Labels: crime, Odd, Offbeat, Schmuck of the Week

All the News Unfit Print for Thursday, September 25, 2008

All the News Unfit Print for Saturday, September 20, 2008
THE WORLD SAFE FOR TWO MORE MONTHS

123 pounds of pure unadulterated meat
PHOTO: Handout/Reuters
ProfessionalTravelGuide.com has chosen a list of unusually large things.. The third on the list features a burger from Denny's Beer Barrel Pub, Clearfield, Pennsylvania.. My brother and other family members ate there.. they didn't get the 123 pounds of meat, but enjoyed their much smaller pounders..

All the News Unfit Print for Thursday, September 18, 2008

All the News Unfit Print for Tuesday, September 16, 2008


All the News Unfit Print for Saturday, September 6, 2008


All the News Unfit Print for Sunday, August 24, 2008

All the News Unfit Print for Tuesday, August 19, 2008

All the News Unfit Print for Saturday, August 16, 2008
NO SHOCKER: BIGFOOT TESTS FAIL
No proof that the object or costume photographed and released was Bigfoot.. In a way, this makes me feel better. Just knowing that the real Bigfoot is out there .. somewhere .. casually walking through the woods .. strutting his stuff in the forest world.
He won't be caught. Either because it's too smart.. or just merely because his existence is only within the imaginations of people that want to believe. Of course, Bigfoot believers that really want to believe are the minority. There are, after all, aliens amongst us. Just look at Michael Phelps..

All the News Unfit Print for Friday, August 15, 2008
DING DONG BIGFOOT'S DEAD! I'm not buying it
AFP/www.searchingforbigfoot.com
I want to believe in Bigfoot.
I really do..
Ever since I was a kid watching UNSOLVED MYSTERIES, or SIGHTINGS, or other shows about oddities and otherworldly creatures walking among us..
But while I want to believe, I'm not convinced. I'm at heart a skeptic about quite a lot of things.. I even doubt things I believe in, often questioning myself about my own beliefs. Maybe I'm just a little off the deep end.
But I never saw Bigfoot.. Or did I?
Two men say they did see Bigfoot..
What's more, the two men claim they found the body of Bigfoot!
Matthew Whitton and Rick Dyer told questioning and skeptical reporters at a news conference today that they found the mighty Yetti while hiking in Georgia..
One expert quoted by the AFP said, "I'm extremely skeptical about this bigfoot claim," he said. "What I've seen so far is not compelling in the least, and I think the pictures cast grave doubts on their claim. It just looks like a costume with some fake guts thrown on top for effect."For the record, when I searched You Tube for a video of the press conference today, I found something very different. . watch it at your leisure. And dream on, maybe the Sasquatch is out there.. somewhere.. waiting to truly be caught:
Labels: Breaking news, Odd, Offbeat, Science

The best campaign video ever..
Ever. He ought to use it. The election would be a landslide..
Labels: Campaign 2008, Obama, Odd, Politics

All the News Unfit Print for Saturday, August 9, 2008


All the News Unfit Print for Tuesday, August 5, 2008
ONE DAY, TWO STRANGE 911-CALL STORIES
A man in Florida called 911 to complain that Subway left the sauce off a spicy Italian sandwich..
Emergency teams are standing by .. for emergencies.
Labels: News, Odd, Random rakings

All the News Unfit Print for Saturday, August 2, 2008

PUCKER UP: IT'S THE WEEKEND
Labels: Odd

Copper Theft gone wrong

AP Photo/ Morning News via Dillon County Sheriff's Office
Suspected thief trying to steal about ten bucks worth of copper gets himself stuck in trash bin..
The photo looks unsettling, but Gibson Cook lived to be charged..
Police said he was a local petty thief.. But never got himself suck in a situation like this.
Labels: Odd, Random rakings

All the News Unfit Print for Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Clowns on the interstate
However, with his speed the way it was, he most likely is still going there.
Labels: Odd, Random rakings

All the News Unfit Print for Sunday, July 13, 2008
When in Wisconsin, don't have sex with dead people


No, really. It's illegal. You may have already known it's completely reprehensible.. But now it's illegal. Three men dug up a woman that died a week earlier in an auto accident, all in order for one of them to have sex with the corpse.. The Grant County Circuit Court dismissed the charges after agreeing with the defendants' interpretation of the law that sexual assault is not applicable to a dead person unless the defendant was responsible for the death of the victim..
The state Supreme Court weighed in, voting 5-2 that reversed the lower court decision .. The high court ruled that it's a crime because there is no consent from the victim.
How 'bout the fact that it's a dead body!
All of the grave diggers were 22.. Their intentions were obvious.
Authorities said that a passing driver saw the incident happening.. before they have the chance to do their deed.
And now with the Supreme Court decision, sex with the dead is banned in the state..Labels: crime, Disgusting, News, Odd, Random rakings

All the News Unfit Print for Saturday, June 28, 2008
The Mini Sex Tape
You didn't hear it here first, and believe me, I am fine with that.
Verne Troyer, normally up to being mocked for his miniature size in the AUSTIN POWERS movies and other films, is suing TMZ.COM over their broadcast and upload of .. a sex tape!
Apparently it is true that all Hollywood stars have a sex tape.. But the fact that Verne Troyer has one is a little shocking.
A little.
Troyer is suing TMZ for $20 mil for the publishing of the tape. Troyer says in the suit that it violated his rights..
br>A judge ordered that TMZ remove the Troyer sex tape. AP Photo/Matt SaylesLabels: Entertainment, Hollywood, News, Odd

All the News Unfit Print for Wednesday, June 25, 2008
The Blogyard graveyard
The warning signs apparently this: Few posts and when there are posts, posts about the blog itself.
Am I dead yet?

All the News Unfit Print for Sunday, January 20, 2008
TOM CRUISE UNPLUGGED
The Church of Scientology tried to unplug video of Tom Cruise ever so excited about Scientology .. They attempted to use copyright law to keep the video from becoming .. *here's that annoying term again* .. "viral."But online you can't stop the floodgates .. BBC, You Tube, Live Leak, ITN, and other sites are now carrying clips of the video, or links to external sources that contain the video.. In the 9 minute Cruise unplugged video, he speaks about Scientology to the theme song of MISSION IMPOSSIBLE. Some are describing the video as "freakish".. It has spawned humor on late night programs desperate for material with the writers strike..
The video is a marketing attempt by the Church .. Cruise's words are being studied and mocked by many..
The floodgates have opened. And Tom Cruise is up to his eyes in the feeding frenzy.
What is he saying anyway? The MISSION IMPOSSIBLE music was distracting..
AP Photo/Miguel Villagran,File
Labels: Odd, Random rakings, Scary

All the News Unfit Print for Saturday, January 12, 2008
The AMERICAN IDOL star Clay Aiken angry at NEWSWEEK during interview..
Among Aiken's responses to several uncomfortable questions:
"I'm not going to discuss it."
"I'm not going to talk about it."
"This is NEWSWEEK. It's not the National Enquirer. I'd hate to have a job where I had to be rude to people."
"No, we're done. I thought NEWSWEEK would be more reputable. I'm surprised."
At least one gay site has already heralded him a hero..
One site calls him "pissy"..
Labels: Odd, Random rakings

Random rakings


